


She Returns: Part Two

by lol-phan-af (lol_phan_af)



Series: 1-800-did-I-ask [52]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Multi, Texting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-29
Updated: 2016-08-29
Packaged: 2018-08-11 17:25:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,280
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7901356
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lol_phan_af/pseuds/lol-phan-af
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>little lion: again I am ded and john has killed me</p><p>johnn: mE IN SUSPENDERS SHOULDN'T MAKE YOU THIS SWEATY</p><p>little lion: YOU IN ANYTHING MAKES ME THIS SWEATY</p>
            </blockquote>





	She Returns: Part Two

**Author's Note:**

> sPOILER ALERT FOR THE SONG OF ACHILLES ENDING I GUESS KIND OF SORT OF KIND OF????

**laf** : I have many questions  
  
**hugh lowercase** : I thought you went to bed like two hours ago  
  
**laf** : sure  
  
**laf** : okay so we have nine questions  
  
**hugh lowercase** : oh my god??  
  
**laf** : right so number one: how did you two get together  
  
**hugh lowercase** : I told alex and john this?  
  
**laf** : alex was focused on not trying to rupture something so he wasn't listening  
  
**laf** : john was probably focused on alex bc tbh when are we not  
  
**hugh lowercase** : okay so basically she was the person my parents had water their plants when we were on the beach trip and when we came home my parents forced me to go to her house to pay her so I went and we like caught up and then agreed to have lunch and then she kissed me and we started dating  
  
**laf** : and this all happened in the time from when we got back to the beach to now?  
  
**hugh lowercase** : yes  
  
**laf** : ew  
  
**laf** : anyway question two: do you still like us  
  
**hugh lowercase** : no  
  
**laf** : what the fuck you only started liking us like two months ago  
  
**laf** : I am not that forgettable  
  
**hugh lowercase** : the beach trip kind of like help me get over it  
  
**laf** :  how did us sweating and being shirtless for hours at a time help you get over it  
  
**hugh lowercase** : bc y'all have a weird dynamic where you would literally actually die for one another and love each other more than anything else in the entire world I wasn't ready for love at that magnitude  
  
**laf** : yeah that's true  
  
**laf** : okay so question three: does elizabeth kNOW that you used to like us  
  
**hugh lowercase** : yes  
  
**laf** : and how did she take that  
  
**hugh lowercase** : she didn't really care tbh  
  
**hugh lowercase** : she knew that I didn't want to date you anymore and she trusts me  
  
**laf** : omg this is cute okay so anyway  
  
**laf** : so like do your parents know  
  
**hugh lowercase** : they shouLDNT but they saw her kiss me bc they were watching me out of the kitchen window  
  
**laf** : oh shit  
  
**hugh lowercase** : yEAH  
  
**laf** : at least it spared you the trouble of having to explain it to them??  
  
**hugh lowercase** : doesn't mean it spared me from the embarrassment of my mother giving me tips on kissing girls despite elizabeth not being the first person I've dated  
  
**laf** : omg okay question five: why did you decide to tell hercules so soon bc like??  
  
**hugh lowercase** : I felt bad hiding it from him and elizabeth didn't want him like finding out some other way and bc I have a job interview here it was convenient  
  
**hugh lowercase** : also how many more questions do you have  
  
**laf** : five  
  
**hugh lowercase** : I'm tiRED  
  
**laf** : OKAY FINE ILL ASK THEM ALL AT ONCE  
  
**laf** : 6: how are you not like embarrassed over dating hercules' first girlfriend  
7: do you like,,,,,,plan to marry her,,,,,,??  
8: why do you only like people hercules has dated  
9: do you have any stories about smol hercules bc he won't tell us anything  
10: hOW THE F U C K DID ELIZABETH NOT ASK HERCULES OUT WHEN THEY WERE YOUNGER LIKE?????  
  
**hugh lowercase** : I'm not answering nine  
  
**laf** : you will one day  
  
**hugh lowercase** : 6: idk he broke up with her and he has you guys so I imagine he's not hurt and if he is tell me bc I'll talk to him abt it totally  
7: idk it depends how this all pans out tbh???  
8: it's really a coincidence  
10: I doNT KNOW???  
  
**laf** : okay well thx for this I have feeling in my lips again and alex is still awake so I gotta go  
  
**hugh lowercase** : oh?? my god???  
  
\---  
  
**laf** : I feel like hugh and lafayette have developed a friendship that they never told us about -alex  
  
**laf** : I don't think so? like we all like became pals @the beach so this really isn't weird -laf  
  
**little lion** : but like idk what pals would answer the question ""why do you only date people hercules has dated""  
  
**johnn** : you didn't  
  
**laf** : yeah I totally did  
  
**johnn** : I want a divORCE  
  
**laf** : it waSNT THAT BAD HE JUST SAID IT WAS A COINCIDENCE  
  
**more like HUNKules** : wHY DO YOU HURT ME LIKE THIS  
  
**laf** : SORRY LOVE  
  
**more like HU** NKules: I CANNOT BE LI EV E  
  
**little lion** : rip  
  
**little lion** : tfw laf crawls over your body so that they can lie on TOP of hercules and you have never felt more violated  
  
**johnn** : rt  
  
**laf** : sorry?  
  
**little lion** : you're not  
  
\---  
  
**little lion** : again I am ded and john has killed me  
  
**johnn** : mE IN SUSPENDERS SHOULDN'T MAKE YOU THIS SWEATY  
  
**little lion** : YOU IN ANYTHING MAKES ME THIS SWEATY  
  
**little lion** : you in nothing makes me the Most Sweaty  
  
**more like HUNKules** : oh my god  
  
**little lion** : the gLARE I JUST RECIEVED  
  
**more like HUNKules** : gOOD  
  
**laf** : I s2g you two get tf out here and eat breakfast we're all waiting for you  
  
**little lion** : I'd muCH rather stay in here and devour john tho  
  
**johnn** : well we have work so no  
  
**laf** : and we have guests so no  
  
**little lion** : y'all are nO fun  
  
**johnn** : literally just wait until this week is over  
  
**little lion** : fuck  
  
**laf** : CAN YOU TWO PLEASE GET OUT HERE AND STOP TALKING ABT THIS BEFORE I HAVE A pROBLEM  
  
**little lion** : ON OUR WAY  
  
\---  
  
**laf** : what are we having for dinner tonight  
  
**more like HUNKules** : idk I can buy stuff on our way home  
  
**laf** : okay  
  
**little lion** : I don't like this  
  
**laf** : what  
  
**little lion** : I feel like my things are being rummaged through  
  
**laf** : the spare room is locked and that's where most of your stuff is  
  
**little lion** : all that's in there of mine are books  
  
**laf** : books are like,,,,,90% of your belongings  
  
**laf** : then you have your laptop and your clothes and the weird soap you use that makes you smell really nice like cinnamon and then the rest of it we share??  
  
**little lion** : haha,,,,,,it's not like there could be,,,,,anything incriminating,,,,,,,,on my laptop,,,,,,,  
  
**laf** : alex  
  
**little lion** : h a  h a, , , , , , , , , ,  
  
**laf** : whAT DO YOU HAVE ON YOUR LAPTOP  
  
**little lion** : nothing that would get me in trouble with like,,,,,,the law or anything  
  
**johnn** : is this the part where you admit that you save every picture on your phone to your laptop and bc you never delete photos ever Everything is there  
  
**little lion** : yes  
  
**laf** : fuck  
  
**more like HUNKules** : oh my god alex  
  
**little lion** : I??  
  
**little lion** : no wait it's fine bc they don't know my password to get into it  
  
**johnn** : your password is just hlja5812  
  
**little lion** : fuck you???  
  
**johnn** : it's literally our initials and then our anniversary you're the sappiest person ever  
  
**little lion** : SAYS MR. HAS THREE PASSWORDS THAT HE ROTATES BETWEEN  
  
**johnn** : FALSE  
  
**little lion** : ALEXH111, HERCM512, AND THEN FUCKCIF MJPYVRGMML906  
  
**johnn** : F U C K  Y O U  
  
**johnn** : YOU EXPOSE ME I EXPOSE YOU FUQQER  
  
**laf** : you two are so gross  
  
**more like HUNKules** : alexjohnherc2012  
  
**laf** : I hate you  
  
**more like HUNKules** : hA  
  
\---  
  
**hugh lowercase** : a question: why is your spare room locked  
  
**more like HUNKules** : alex is paranoid that you're gonna go through our shit  
  
**hugh lowercase** : how much stuff do you keep in there  
  
**more like HUNKules** : literally everything  
  
**more like HUNKules** : we all have to share one closet to whatever clothes that don't fit in it go in there, my yarn is in there, alex's books, lafayette's enORMOUS shoe collection that terrifies me, etc.  
  
**hugh lowercase** : I see  
  
**more like HUNKules** : why were you trying to open the spare room in the first place  
  
**hugh lowercase** : I was looking for blankets bc your house is fucking cOLD  
  
**more like HUNKules** : there are some in our bedroom under our bed and if you find anything else under there while you're looking do not mention it  
  
**hugh lowercase** : what else would I find under there  
  
**more like HUNKules** : you'll know if you find it  
  
**hugh lowercase** : I  
  
**hugh lowercase** : okay  
  
\---  
  
**hugh lowercase** : I didn't find anything??  
  
**more like HUNKules** : good  
  
**hugh lowercase** : ?????  
  
**more like HUNKules** : don't ask  
  
**more like HUNKules** : also what do you want for dinner  
  
**hugh lowercase** : idk  
  
**more like HUNKules** : do I have to text elizabeth and ask her considering neither you or my spouses have aNY idea  
  
**hugh lowercase** : yes  
  
\---  
  
**more like HUNKules** : whaT DO YOU WANT FOR DINNER  
  
**more like HUNKules** : PLEASE HAVE AT LEAST LIKE A VAGUE IDEA BC NOBODY ELSE DOES  
  
**elizabeth s.** : do pork chops take long to make  
  
**more like HUNKules** : are you willing to go out and bUY pork chops  
  
**elizabeth s.** : yeah  
  
**more like HUNKules** : okay well if you and hugh could do that in like an hour then that'd be chill  
  
**elizabeth s.** : yeah sure of course  
  
**more like HUNKules** : thank you  
  
**elizabeth s.** : also I have a question  
  
**more like HUNKules** : and that is  
  
**elizabeth s.** : what aren't we allowed to eat in your fridge  
  
**more like HUNKules** : nothing really??  
  
**more like HUNKules** : actually nvm don't touch the ranch dressing bottle on the shelf  
  
**elizabeth s.** : why  
  
**more like HUNKules** : it's not ranch dressing  
  
**elizabeth s.** : EXCUSE ME  
  
**more like HUNKules** : NOT LIKE THAT  
  
**more like HUNKules** : LAFAYETTE AND ALEX HAVE A THEORY THAT IF YOU PUT LOTION IN THE FRIDGE IT WORKS BETTER IDK WHY THEY PUT IT IN A RANCH DRESSING BOTTLE AND TBH I'VE GIVEN UP ON ASKING ABT IT  
  
**elizabeth s.** : I have done nothing to deserve this  
  
**more like HUNKules** : and I have??  
  
\---  
  
**laf** : yknow tho tbh  
  
**laf** : I love you all so much??  
  
**more like HUNKules** : where is this coming from  
  
**laf** : idk I was just thinkin about it  
  
**more like HUNKules** : is it bc john just put a bun in his hair  
  
**laf** : fuckifng  
  
**laf** : yes  
  
**more like HUNKules** : okay then same  
  
**johnn** : y'all are are ridiculous I want a divorce  
  
**laf** : you're just so cute and lovely and I love you sm fuck  
  
**johnn** : I love you  
  
**laf** : if my seatbelt wasn't currently locked I would literally be making out with you so hard rn  
  
**johnn** : tbh same  
  
**little lion** : should we honestly just make out in the car  
  
**johnn** : why would we  
  
**little lion** : bc we're parked and you two can't make out on the couch bc elizabeth and hugh are going to be there  
  
**johnn** : fuck true  
  
**johnn** : okay yeah let's go  
  
**more like HUNKules** : oh my god  
  
\---  
  
**hugh lowercase** : where are you  
  
**more like HUNKules** : coming up the stairs  
  
**hugh lowercase** : okay bc you're like late I thought you were dead  
  
**more like HUNKules** : and you waited until now to text me??  
  
**hugh lowercase** : I  
  
**more like HUNKules** : exactly  
  
\---  
  
**laf** : hercules your shirt is buttoned wrong  
  
**more like HUNKules** : your shirt isn't buttoned at all  
  
**johnn** : alex's hair is a mess  
  
**little lion** : your hair is half in its bun and half out of it  
  
**little lion** : and your suspenders are fucking unclipped  
  
**more like HUNKules** : lafayette's lipstick is smeared down the entire column of john's throat  
  
**laf** : hercules' belt is completely undone  
  
**little lion** : where is your suit jacket  
  
**laf** : fuck  
  
**johnn** : a question:  
  
**johnn** : did we try?? at all?? to make it look like we didn't just have sex in our car??  
  
**laf** : no  
  
**little lion** : 3/10  
  
**more like HUNKules** : -3/10  
  
**johnn** : thought so  
  
\---  
  
**more like HUNKules** : THE PORK CHOPS ARE DONE  
  
**laf** : hold on I'm braiding alex's hair  
  
**johnn** : and I'm braiding laf's  
  
**little lion** : I'll braid john's after we eat  
  
**johnn** : <3 <3 <3  
  
**johnn** : I wish hercules had hair long enough to braid  
  
**more like HUNKules** : that wish will never come true  
  
**johnn** : :^((((((  
  
**more like HUNKules** : :///  
  
**more like HUNKules** : maybe one day  
  
**johnn** : !!!  
  
**more like HUNKules** : probably not tho  
  
**johnn** : absolutely rude  
  
**more like HUNKules** : coME OUT HERE AND E A T  
  
**johnn** : WE'RE COMIGN G OD  
  
\---  
  
**laf** : oh no  
  
**johnn** : what  
  
**laf** : alex is reading the song of achilles out loud to hercules again  
  
**johnn** : oh no  
  
**laf** : alex is crying  
  
**laf** : hercules is not but it's very obvious that he's about to  
  
**johnn** : why is this what they do for fun  
  
**laf** : idek  
  
**johnn** : wait where they in the book  
  
**laf** : I could recognize him by touch alone  
  
**johnn** : okay I'm coming in I gotta  
  
**laf** : whY  
  
**johnn** : bc he would know him in death??? at the end of the world????  
  
**laf** : I'm going to bed on the other side of you three and if one teardrop hits any part of me I will choke you to death  
  
**johnn** : kinky  
  
**laf** : stop  
  
\---  
  
**little lion** : SHE CARVED HIS NAME INTO THE GRAVE IM GONNA FUCKING SCREAM  
  
**laf** : you are sobbing are you okay  
  
**little lion** : NO  
  
**laf** : oh my god you're gonna cry on me aren't you  
  
**little lion** : not if you don't want me to  
  
**laf** : just fuckign come here  
  
**little lion** : okay  
  
\---  
  
**hugh lowercase** : I can here someone crying in your room are you all okay  
  
**more like HUNKules** : yes  
  
**hugh lowercase** : okay??  
  
**more like HUNKules** : alex, whom I love dearly, decided that it'd be a good idea to read one of the saddest books ever oUT LOUD and now he's sobbing so that's who you hear  
  
**hugh lowercase** : y'all worry me  
  
**more like HUNKules** : rt but we're going to bed gn  
  
**hugh lowercase** : gn??  
  
**more like HUNKules** : if you hear the crying continue and it sounds like me don't ever speak of it to anyone  
  
**hugh lowercase** : I didn't when we were kids I wouldn't now  
  
**more like HUNKules** : I  
  
**more like HUNKules** : we'll talk about that later  
  
**hugh lowercase** : goodnight hercules  
  
**more like HUNKules** : goodnight,,,,,,,

**Author's Note:**

> the vmas are on rn and I'm actually screaming so loudly which is why it took so long for me to upload this 
> 
> BEYONCE IS ABOUT TO COME ON I GOTTA G O


End file.
